Maternity Fashion Industry- YOU STILL SUCK.

This rant calls for some epic f-bombage! Seriously, who the fuck thought of these jeans? Motherhood Maternity. Skinny jeans for pregnant women. But you wouldn't think so. Because she looks so fucking fabulous! You what? You want me to squeeze my wheels in those? While I am proud of my athletic legs that can leg press 675lbs, they ain't goin' anywhere near those bitches. Because that's all you're offering me. I am supposed to look like a sausage in casing? I wouldn't have so much of a problem with them if you offered some wide leg, athletic leg, options as well. Or perhaps a model with some MEAT on her so she looks like a REAL person. 

How about some funky cargo pants? Shut up, Old Navy, your cargo pants suck ass. Where do you get off calling your maternity cargo pants, maternity cargo pants? Step it up, Punks.

AND HELLO? ADIDAS? PUMA? NIKE? WHERE ARE YOU? Cowering in the corner, are you? Are you paying attention? Do you KNOW how many active pregnant women (myself included) would invest in at least a few pieces of some kick-ass maternity workout gear? 

HEY Everyone: DITCH the horizon stripes. We hate them. I hate them. And you keep putting them on fucking everything.

A while back I said maternity clothes suck and they still do. While I spend most of my time at home in baggy sweatpants and a tank top, there are shining moments when I would like to have some hip clothes to wear and not spend my annual diaper budget.

So for now, I'll just keep whining, do nothing about it, and take it up the ass.
*HUMPF.*